| Return from the abyss |
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| 05:30am 17/01/2008 |
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So I used to have this journal about... a million years ago. I'm just wondering if anyone on my list is still alive or what... Even though I'm quite sure no one remembers me.
In particular Cass, if you're still around... yeah. |
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(3 ripped heads |
Rip the doll's head) |
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| Farewells |
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| 11:15pm 04/01/2006 |
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This is the entry where I officially say goodbye to LJ.
It has nothing to do with how shitty I feel, being stabbed in the back by the one person I give a fuck about and slowly watching the world turn to ashes and rubble around me... More to do with the fact that I no longer have anything to write or give a fuck about. My life has finally reached the point where it wouldn't even make a believable soap-opera, that's how fucked up it is. And to be honest, I'm sick of trying to convey something futile that nobody actually grasps anyways. What's the point in cutting yourself open in front of so many people if you can't even see your own insides? I don't know what's bleeding in me, glistening under the scrutiny of random people and I would sure as hell like to.
I don't know what I'm made of anymore. Is it gruesome or am I empty? I tend to think the only thing I've managed to expose of myself whilst keeping this journal has been my lack of feeling, my lack of raw emotion, my lack of self-awareness and my lack of substance (obviously, drugs don't count under "substance"... everyone knows I haven't been lacking those).
I can't really say I know what I'm hoping to get out of no longer writing in this thing, but it's probably similar to the reason I started it all in the first place.
I don't know what I want.
I want someone to tell me my life story.
Yeah yeah yeah... I'm shutting up now.
Bye,
Kopper. |
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(19 ripped heads |
Rip the doll's head) |
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cyanidexdivide's journal
